Interpersonal Communication #5

Because chapter 5 was oh-so-lengthy, I get to write 2 blog posts about it! Could life get better?!?! Yes, if I had Oreos and peanut butter as I write this, it could. Alas, whole-grain Goldfish will have to do. Turns out, Ch. 5 has some really great stuff to cover, specifically regarding how relationships intensify.

Now I know I already wrote about breadth and depth of self-disclosure, but there is another theory about relationship intensification that stands out. The "Turning-Point Approach" is worth writing about, for a number of reasons. First, it's a unique way to look at our relationships. Second, I have a kick-ass example to write about. And third, it's true. Probably... I guess it's up to you, and that's why they call it a "theory." Nevertheless, it certainly seems to resonate with many of my relationships.

"Alright, get to the punchline," you're probably saying. Well, the TPA--that's a technical term coined by the experts that I now like to use--states that there are many different, specific events in our relationships that are crucial to our relational development. Hence, they act as"turning points" in our relationship, for better or for worse. For instance, your first kiss with someone or the first time you meet the family... each is a specific event that has the possibility of propelling the relationship or even terminating it.

Now, I think this seems pretty logical. I know from experience that it's pretty tough to not let any sort of major events affect your relationship in any way. Therefore, it is my belief that the theory seems pretty resonable. To illustrate this point (here comes the kick-ass part you've been waiting for), I want to talk about the Bryant Players' show that I went to see last weekend. (OK, I admit, it's really not as great of an example as I've been trying to hype).

In the show--titled "All in the Timing"--the audience observed a young couple developing a relationship over a short period of time in which each action had a specific consequence to the relationship. While the show serves simply as a small example of a much smaller-scale relationship, it was still very interesting to see the different effects on the central couple's relationship. The witty and clever script gave the actors different lines and actions that affected the relationship. The best part: every time one of the actions was made/lines was said that made the relationship take a turn for the worst, a bell was rung to signify the character must "try again" with a different turning point that would develop the relationship instead of hurt it.

Sure, this example is slightly out of context, but when thinking about the Turning-Point Approach, it seems to fit perfectly. Regardless, I now know that it's certainly a big turning point to ask a girl to marry you on your first date -- and it's certainly not a good turning point.