Interpersonal Communication #1

To start off my Interpersonal Communication class this semester, I am assigned to write a blog that documents my thoughts on the weekly readings -- weird? I think not. I'm actually kind of excited, as it gives me an excuse to blog again. Since I just got the textbook in (ugh, finally!), even though the semester started a couple of weeks ago, I am a little behind; hence, I'll be writing 4 blogs before next week. Anyway, that's enough of an introduction for my followers. Let the commentary commence!

Upon reading chapter 1, I am struck with quite a few interesting thoughts. Namely--since this chapter specifically deals with defining the various principles amidst our relationships--I am left thinking about my own relationships. The chapter starts off defining three different types of relationships we can have: "role," "interpersonal," or "close" relationships, each defined by a specific set of characteristics.

Now, as any friend/family member/acquaintance/boss/classmate/co-worker/rival/minion/etc. of mine knows, I am someone who values relationships. For whatever purpose they serve, I feel there can be a benefit to each individual one. However, that's not to say I've ever cared to put a coherent thought into how to classify my relationships. The guy who looks at his watch and tells me the time is as much a "friend" to me as the chick who can never seem to get my coffee order right at Dunks (seriously! I'm not at Starbucks, there's no extra soy shit to pump into my drink. I simply asked for it to be light!). But I digress... the point is, I've never bothered to classify these relationships. But, as luck would have it, I get to classify them now! What joy!

Role relationships can classify the aforementioned interactions that I have on a daily basis; but I guess I never realized how many I had! Every time I communicate within one of these types of interactions, I am aiming to fulfill a goal that I have (find out the time, get a light coffee, etc). Once the goal is met, the relationship is over. Kaput. Goodbye. That's all folks... Actually, I guess that's how it is supposed to work. However, I feel that a good percentage of my role relationships eventually morph into interpersonal relationships.

For me, it's difficult to understand where my relationships morph. Sure, I can distinguish which ones simply fulfill a role (and, yes, I do feel more powerful after reading this chapter! :D) versus which ones involve repeated interactions that mutually influence us. But I notice that many of my role relationships have started to morph into interpersonal relationships. Granted, for every one "role relationship" that morphs, five more pop up to take its place -- damn things are like cockroaches. Again I digress...

Take, for instance, my relationship with Marge, the lunch lady outside Salmo. She takes my ID card and swipes it so that I now have access to all of Salmo's delicious glory (excuse me while I puke). That's it. That's her role. Let me into the dining hall. BUUUUT, I've been here at Bryant for 5 semesters, and our repeated interactions have made me, y'know, kinda friends with her. She lets me into the dining hall and asks me about her day; I ask her about her day, tell her a funny story or two, or tell her to just hang in there. Once, I was even so nice as to buy her a book of crossword puzzles one day (hold your applause please). Voila! It seems my relationship has morphed! That's not to say that it's a close relationship, though.

Irreplaceable close relationships, for me, are few and far between. Sure, I have my family and a few friends who are as close as family, and I definitely have a lot of friends. But reading this chapter sort of made me think about all of my friends -- I'm really involved in a lot on campus, but am I really close with a lot of people? Can I honestly say I get a lot of my needs fulfilled by students who I wave to in the dining hall or classmates I study for finals with? I don't think so.

But now this brings me to a big question of my own: where do I draw the line between interpersonal and close relationships? I don't want to give so many of my friends the big ole' "middle finger of technical communication terms" by calling these relationships "interpersonal," instead of "close"... but at the same time, I don't necessarily think I'd share many secrets or heavily confide in more than just a handful of people I know. I guess this is something I'm going to have to think about and discover more as the semester goes on...