Interpersonal Communication #4

Ugggghhh, I literally just wrote this 4th blog post, then went to publish it. Then, it told me there was an error, and it couldn't be posted (and I lost the entire post I had just written). As such, this new post I'm writing is much shorter than it should have been, because I don't have the time or energy to write it all over again. What a pain in the ass. Procrastination FTW!

Anyway, two blog posts in one day! I am a procrastinator, so now (just days before these posts are actually due), I am finally getting around to reading and journaling. Chapter 5 is tonight's discussion -- seems to give me enough to talk about, as the bulk of the chapter discusses self-disclosure in our relationships.


Now, looking at this topic, I can think of plenty of awkward situations to mention that relate perfectly to the chapter! haha... now, I need to come up with the most interesting, weird, or relatable one. Before I get ahead of myself, I must explain what I mean by self-disclosure in relationships. Basically, it means the amount of things you're willing to reveal about yourself, depending on the different level of relationship you have. Self-disclosure will reach a greater depth (more intimacy) and breadth (wider range of topics you reveal) as your relationship grows from superficial to social to a core rleationship.

Obviously, I'm not going to go up to the cashier at the grocery store and say "my girlfriend broke up with me, because she says I don't listen, I'm afraid of commitment, and I smell. (disclaimer: this DID NOT happen. really.) No, this is a superficial relationship; thus, I'm more likely to go up and disclose very little, but instead ask "Hey, what do you think of all this snow we've been getting?" or "Seen any good movies that are out lately?"

On the other hand, as a relationship becomes social, self-disclosure becomes a little more intimate and has a broader range. We start to reveal more about oursleves. Asking for advice about a class or revealing an experience that made you grow stronger can be improtant to growing those relationships... Eventually, they may grow to your closest, core relationships, where self-disclosure is at its greatest. Furthermore, I can have superficial conversations with one of my core relationships, but I'm not limited to just that -- I have a greater depth and breadth of self-disclosure (which is usually mutual for one of these types of relationships). For instance, if I wanted some advice about whether or not to trasfer schools, or I wanted to confide in someone about a recent friend problem, I could do that with someone that I've known and disclosed more to over time.

Of course, there are those times when people you don't know very well (or even at all) cross a whole lotta boundaries in a very short time -- like when I get hugged by random strangers on "National Hugs Day" (which I am almost positive has to be a fictitious Facebook event for high school students). All of this talk brings me to my funny story for the day. When someone discloses way too much about themselves in a very short amount of time, it can be very awkward, and will either turn very funny or incredibly uncomfortable. Take this instance from a few months ago:

As an RA on campus, I often have inebriated residents come up to me to do one of two things: either tell me how much they love me or tell me how much of an ass I am. However, on this particular weekend night, a student who I had never seen before thought it would be a bright idea (drunk as he was) to come up to me, tell me that he planned on having sex with as many girls as he could that night, then proceed to ask me who the best girls to bed on campus were... WTF? First of all, who is this loser? Second, what kind of question is that? Thirdly, at a school of over 3,000 students, what makes him think I'm qualified to answer him? I told him that he should head back to his own room, since his night was probably over, and I didn't want him causing a ruckus that could get out of hand. He then decided it was the perfect time to start crying, lean on my shoulder, and tell me that none of his girlfirends had ever liked him... Hmmm, gee, I wonder what made him think that...? Apparently, for him, drunk self-disclosure knew no depth or breadth. Go figure.