Conflict is something none of us are strangers to. Whether we like it or not, we all have to deal with it. Obviously, conflict can weaken our relationships. However, it also has the immense power to strengthen them -- what really matters is how we deal with our conflicts.
There are many styles we can use to deal with conflict. Among them, there are people who avoid, people who compete, people who collaborate, people who compromise, yada, yada, yada (love Seinfeld!). The list goes on and on... many tactics can be used, depending on personality type. For me, I know that I am very competitive and tend to think of conflict as a battle where I need to et the upper hand. The toughest types of people for me to deal with are the ones who avoid. I cannot STAND when my friends bottle things up and become passive-aggressive... way to be an ass!
Different tactics can come into play during conflict, as well -- and many of them are destructive. Bonus: some of them even have really funny names! Like "gunnysacking," which is where you store up a plethora of offenses, then "dump" them all on the person you're conflicting with all at once. There's also "kitchen-sinking," where you bring up past arguments and offenses that are long over. Admittedly, I have been guilty of some of these, but it doesn't mean I haven't recognized these harmful methods.
Currently, we can look to TV for many examples of conflict (albeit played out in a very Hollywood-esque way!). NBC currently airs a show called "Perfect Couples," a comedy that looks at three couples who all handle conflict in different ways. Admittedly, the show is not very good, but each episode is a guilty pleasure of mine and always makes me laugh and think about my way of handling conflicts. For instance, in the pilot episode, each of the three couples are faced with the same dilemma: one person hogs the entire bed, while their respective partners each figure out a different way to get back onto the bed and let their significant other know how they feel about the lack of space/courtesy.
When Amy takes up too much room on the bed, Vance gets competitive, wakes her up, and they get into a huge fight about their bad behaviors (a lot of kitchen-sinking here!). When Lee takes up the bed, Rex avoids conflict and takes the floor. And when Julia makes the whole space hers, Dave tries to compromise by just curling up in the fetal position and taking the small bit of empty space that is left. Comical, but very true to how many of us act in life.
I could write a lot more about conflict here, but I have already written massive papers about it, had many exams on it, and experienced it more times than I would like. For now, I have to get to sleep... And I can have the bed all to myself.
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